mark-plasterI picked up the first chart of the night and read the chief complaint. “Suicidal.” You never know what that means. It could be an old man who has sat all day with his shotgun in his mouth and finally thought better of the situation. It could be a belligerent drunk who was thrown out of his house by his wife and knows that he can stay in the hospital over night if he claims he is going to kill himself.

mark-plasterOne of the things I like the most about the ER is that it is the real “No Spin Zone”.  More accurately, it’s the “No BS Zone”. The dynamics are straight forward. It’s just me and the patient. He’s sick and I’m there to help. It doesn’t matter if he smells like moldy gym socks or if he’s completely broke. It doesn’t matter if he likes me, and it certainly doesn’t matter if I like him.

mark-plasterThere were no patients to be seen when I walked down the hallway to get a cup of coffee. But when I returned to the nurses’ station, Heather, one of the regular night nurses, was holding a chart and looking at me, quizzically. “You have to see this guy,” she said. “I don’t have a clue what’s going on.”

mark-plasterSometimes you end up working a holiday because you are too lazy to check the calendar. Believe it or not that’s just how I ended up working on my last birthday. Thank goodness it wasn’t my wife’s birthday. But when I entered the ER last night and saw all the hearts hanging on the walls, I realized I’d blown it again.

mark-plasterIt was my turn to work New Year’s Eve and I was hoping against hope that bad weather, the down economy and fate in general would combine to make it a slow night. I would have settled for even a slow start to the night. But it was not to be. The jammed parking lot was my first clue and it was cause for a deep preparatory sigh and an additional squirt of stomach acid as I trudged through the ambulance doors.

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