One of the aides was taking a little old lady’s temperature. She was a little demented (the little old lady, not the aide) , so she wasn’t able to keep the thermometer in her mouth. The aide therefore had to take a rectal temperature.
When the aide put the thermometer in the patient’s bottom, the patient slapped her hand away.
The aide tried it again, and the patient turned over and slapped her hand harder.
On the third attempt, the patient yelled
“No, Harold. I told you. No more of that dirty lovin’.”
It is amazing how quickly the attention turned from the degree of the patient’s temperature to the theoretical size of Harold’s woo-hoo.