I was actually being serious for a change.
An elderly patient came in with abdominal pain. She was put on the cardiac monitor and we drew labs. Then I went in to examine her. I pressed on her stomach and she had a little pain. Didn’t feel any masses. Then I put my hand on her stomach and jiggled it a little.
“Does that hurt?” I asked.
All of a sudden, the monitor beeped then a tech and two nurses busted through the door panting. Each one had a look of shock that was more dramatic than the next.
“Damn you, WhiteCoat!” They all yelled in unison.
“What did I do?”
“Very funny. Verrrrry funny. ‘What did I do?’ Hmmmph.” There was a collective sigh of relief as they walked out of the room.
I shrugged my shoulders and finished my physical exam.
When I walked out of the room, they threw an EKG strip at me and then mimicked me “What did IIII do?”
But I really didn’t mean to do it …