This has nothing to do with medicine – well maybe tangentially.
I will now illustrate the different thought processes between men, women, and dogs.
Dog pukes on kitchen floor.
Dog: Damn!
Man: Damn!
Woman: Damn!
Dog sniffs around area and begins to lick up vomit from floor.
Dog: Hey! A warm meal!
Man: Good boy!
Woman: Don’t do THAT! BAD dog! Somebody put him outside! NO! DON’T use a wash cloth to clean it up! Paper towels. PAPER towels! Don’t throw the wash cloth in the washing machine now. Just throw it in the garbage. Eeeewwww. It didn’t touch any of the other clothes in the washer, did it? Oh jeez. I’m out of disinfectant. OK. I’m putting a chair over the puke zone and going to the store to get some disinfectant. Nobody touch it. And don’t feed the dog anything for the rest of the day except water or cottage cheese.
2 Minutes Later
Dog: [looking into house from front porch through window next to door] What’d I do?
Man: [opening door] Hey, buddy, come on in.
Dog: Thanks, I’m hungry.
20 Minutes Later
Woman: [carrying two bags full of Lysol wipes, Soft Scrub with bleach, and air fresheners] What happened to the mess?
Man: I cleaned it up for you.
Woman: [kisses man on cheek] Thanks, honey.
Dog: Is that more food?
It’s even better when you can get your dog to clean up your cat’s liquid diarrhea for you.
/just don’t lick me for a few days, okay?
Bah. Animals NEVER puke on the kitchen floor, it’s always on the carpet, which means it has to be scrubbed, and not with paper towels either.
And my man is much better at cleaning than that. If I didn’t know better I’d think you have a low opinion of men
But then we have a cat so the mess always has to be cleaned up. And it’s usually because he ate something out of the rubbish bin. (Stuff gets thrown out rather than fed to the cat because it has GONE OFF duh. Stupid cat.)
By the floor mat near the sink.
I washed it with soap and a paper towel after he was done with it. I’m not that bad.
Ducks like cat biscuit vomit FYI. Mmm gravy.
I know it’s gross but at least it’s outside.
Was it wise to post this, WhiteCoat? Won’t Mrs. WhiteCoat read it and realize what really happened?
She tells me that she doesn’t read my blog. Figured this was amusing for a post and would be a good way to find out if she’s pulling my leg.
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Ha ha! Yup…. sounds about right ..except I’d be wanting the dog back outside for awhile.
Our Big dog (big dog -big mess)had diarrhea so bad once on a new (9 day old) wall to wall carpet. I came home to that and no one else was home (or they left
and couldn’t believe what i saw … 53 ..*53* spots of diarrhea!!! Started off as real big spots and tapered down.
I don’t know why I counted them. I guess to validate that it was real, stall ..I don’t know. Took forever to clean and I was very grateful for the carpet steam cleaner!
Then this summer… he did it again.. on the same rug only not 53… but still too many places and it was an all afternoon/evening project. Even with the steam cleaner.
None of my pets ever seem to hit tile floors–only carpet!! And my husband never cleans it up; if I am at work he very carefully covers it with newspaper and leaves it for when I come home (even if that is 12 hours after the event). I will say that I’m pretty unfazed by the mess; I see lots worse in the ER (oops–ED). Of course the fact that I spend 10-20 hours a week as a volunteer in our local animal shelter spay/neuter clinic as a veterinary assistant makes me somewhat of an expert in animal messes. But I’ll take any animal mess, however disgusting over C-diff any day!!
Anyone ever scoop up an about to vomit on the furniture cat and fly low across the room to a safer area? I’ve finessed that.
One time I almost managed to shove a mat from the $2 shop under him. Almost.
Insert baby into picture:
baby: let’s play in it before mommy and daddy see!
And you have my house a few days ago.
I went with the “Good boy!” response to “dog licks up own vomit.”
Does this mean I’m actually a man?
Only in spirit …
OK, so the big question is if the dog deserves a trial by his peers or if doggie-mess courts could be set up.
Good point. Text message Matt’s dog, will ya?
We have a 170 lb. mastiff – when that dog starts to puke, everybody in my house RUNS to get out of the way. It’s like throwing a 5 gallon bucket of puke on the rug (and walls, and anything else in a 5 foot radius). I’ve actually used a shop-vac to clean up after that dog when she’s thrown up.