A patient comes to be seen for intractable hiccups.
When the secretary brings him back and puts him in a room, she gives us a look and says “here’s a weird one for you.”
He gives a long drawn out story about how he had his hiccups for more than a week and he was sick of them and all the things he tried to do to get rid of his hiccups … including sticking his finger down his throat, drinking water upside down (how?), swallowing sugar, pulling on his tongue … nothing worked. He couldn’t sleep. In fact, he was hiccuping so much that he was making himself vomit.
In a last ditch effort to curb the hiccups, he drank some vodka to see if that would help … a whole fifth. His mother had to drive him to the hospital because he was a little too intoxicated to come on his own.
Nothing besides his Smirnoff breath was abnormal on his physical exam, so I prescribed him a few days of Thorazine to see if that would help and referred him to his family physician if the symptoms persisted.
He grabbed the prescription and said to his mom “Come on. Let’s get to the pharmacy so I can take a handful of these things.”
“Ummmm. One at a time, OK, there bud?”
The secretary came back after he walked out and asked “Wasn’t he a trip?”
I told her what he said about taking a handful of pills to get rid of his hiccups.
“That’s nothing. When he came to the window to register, he was feeling nauseous. I gave him a vomit bag in case he got sick. He threw it on the desk and told me that he didn’t see the need for a condom at this point and that at least we could give him one that would fit.”
We all giggled and then I started thinking to myself. Maybe he should be on that Thorazine on a long term basis.