When grandma called the ambulance to come take her husband to the emergency department for his chest pains, she was all in a dither. They just got back from eating at the local diner and he wasn’t feeling good at all.
Paramedics swooped through the home, scooped up grandpa, grabbed his brown paper bag full of medications, and brought him to the emergency department.
Some oxygen and a couple sprays of nitroglycerin had the patient feeling better by the time he arrived. The full bag of medications got passed to the nurse so she could spend her time following JCAHO protocols and write out all of the medications, their doses, and their frequency for the umpteenth time of the day — instead of taking care of the patients.
As the nurse opened the bag, she got a strange look on her face. Then she dumped the “medications” on the counter.
Instead of a bunch of pill bottles, there was a pile of sugar, Sweet and Low, and Splenda packets that grandpa and grandma had lifted from the diner that evening. Didn’t think much of it until the patient’s daughter brought in the other brown paper bag with the patient’s medications.
Suddenly, grandma forgot about grandpa’s heart condition and got pretty feisty about us returning her sugar packets.
If I ever see her sneaking around the coffee machine in our break room, I’m calling the cops.