A 52 year old intoxicated lady gets brought in by ambulance after getting in a fight with her ex-boyfriend. She had been thoroughly punched and kicked in her face. Both of her eyes were black and blue and were significantly swollen. One eye was swollen shut, the other was open just enough so you could see the subconjunctival hemorrhage about her iris. One of her teeth was knocked out and her breath smelled like someone poured Pabst Blue Ribbon and rotten eggs into someone’s sneaker and then she drank out of it. Literally corrosive.
She went into the bathroom, looked in the mirror and began bawling. “I look like a Star Wars character!” I had to admit that she made a good analogy given her rather impressive blood alcohol level.
Later in the evening, I went to tell her about the results of her CT scan and walked in the room to catch her and her new boyfriend in the midst of a passionate french kiss while laying on the bed. The thought of Wookie breath made me retch.
Can’t you wait until your shuttle takes you back to Naboo, there Chancellor?