I was going to add this story to next week’s Health Care Update, but as I was thinking about it, there were too many smart-alec comments that can be made about this scenario. See what you can come up with …
Bride gets married in hospital when appendix ruptures on her wedding day.
Here are a couple off the top of my head to get you started:
And you thought the reception hall was going to be expensive …
Hey – they needed something to do while they were waiting to see the doctor …
Top three choices as chosen by EP Monthly editors get either a travel coffee mug or a t-shirt from the EP Monthly store.
Winners chosen next Tuesday.
This is more excusable than giving birth to her baby on the wedding day…
“I’ve heard of destination weddings, but this is ridiculous.”
Well, they have the “sickness and health” clause covered.
Nice one!
Give that woman an IV, a pump, some Zosyn and let her go to the reception!
She figured the cocktails would be better there.
I guess it wasn’t the Perf-ect wedding she hoped. for.
“How much of a tip do we leave for room service and housekeeping?”
Sorry, I have to…
“And she thought it was her husband that would be inside her on their wedding night.”
What EXACTLY did she do at the bachelorette party?
Reception Menu
Appetizer: Jello shooters-sans alcohol
Main Course: Beef Broth with lukewarm coffee
Fruit sorbet
Cranberry/Apple juice ‘cocktails’
Dessert: Dixie cup sundaes
Why waste a good opportunity to collect on some life insurance if she dies of sepsis?
Hey hon, let’s get married.
I assume they include in the Time Out: “If any of you can show just cause why this operation may not lawfully be conducted, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace.”
I bet this woman never thought the first question she would be asked as she rolls over in bed the morning after her wedding was:
“Have you passed gas yet?”
Nothing worse than having another guy in your wife on your wedding night…
And you thought the ED was crowded before her 150 guests showed up!
The bride needed ‘something new’ so decided that a lovely new belly scar would check that box.
My bad;)
Sorry dear not now my sutures, ya know. OOOh that’s a diferent story. I’m NPO.
“Without your Appendix, I thee wed…”
Is this covered by Medicaid ?
“I mean the wedding, the limo?”
At least it wasn’t an ectopic.
“I hope I recover quickly so I can get home and post this on my blog before Whitecoat gets around to finishing his “Under the Knife” series!”
Hey – I’ve been bu-sy.
And don’t think you’re getting special consideration for the prize by being a wisenheimer, either.
But Pop, you said I’d want a surgeon on my wedding night!
Yeah, but did you see her prenup? If they divorce, she gets his gallbladder.
The Bridal party will be catching C.Diff instead of bouquets.
The best man accidentally removed her catheter instead of her garter belt
Groom: “So Doc, how soon before we can have sex.”
Doc:” That depends on whether you have a private or a semi-private room.”
That never stopped any patoents I’ve known.
It’s just like the old wedding saying: “Something borrowed, something blue, something old, something removed…”
In this case, the something blue could have been the appendix. New would have been the sutures. Or the scar, I guess, except that will take a few weeks to really form.
And fifty years from now they’ll be bouncing grandkids on their knees, bringing out the photo album of the hospital wedding, and dusting off the appendix in formalin stored in the back of the closet for show-and-tell at the retirement home.
Sorry, sweetie. I’ve already had one pelvic exam today.