Christmas Light Police

One of our neighbors with nothing better to do left a note taped to our front door chastising us because the lights on our trees lining the road we live on weren’t lit when he happened to walk by our house. The thing is that we usually have the trees lit, but we just happened to use the extension cord to power the air pump to pump up a flat tire that afternoon and forgot to re-attach the power cord to the tree lights.

I have a pretty good idea of who it was, and I was going to write “your perineum” after the first line and stick it in his mailbox, but that wouldn’t be in keeping with the Christmas spirit, would it?

Ho ho ho.


7 Responses to “Christmas Light Police”

  1. GrumpyRN says:

    When almost one billion people go to bed hungry every night according to the World Disaster Report (http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=40855&tid=001) all he has to worry about is a few lights then he is either very lucky or very stupid. Either way tell him to p*ss off.
    Ho f’n ho!

    I still think Ebeneezer Scrooge was a badly misunderstood man.

  2. DefendUSA says:

    I lived in the suburbs of Chicago…Downer’s Grove. I had a neighbor from hell…she reported me to the village because of something as silly as your neighbor’s complaint and I still shoveled her driveway because she was 80. I felt like I should give her a Maxine robe and slippers and a catchy sign to suit her misery. Like you, for 27 days of snow…I ho-ho-hoed and Merry Christmas-ed her to death…

  3. SeaSpray says:

    Weird. Kind of funny ..but chastising – way out of line. So …you must have a well lit up neighborhood? Must be very pretty.

    How did he know something wasn’t wrong?

    Reminds me of that comedy movie/book – the Kranks. They were sad because their daughter wouldn’t be home for Christmas and decided not to celebrate Christmas… instead were going to sneak off on a trip. But ..they were the ones that had the traditional neighborhood party. They all put Frosty the snowman on their roof, bough trees and there were all these neighborhood holiday traditions. As word got out …you’d think they were committing the unpardonable sin and it became quite funny. Then the daughter was going to be home after all – in 12 hrs and the mad rush to decorate, etc. if you haven’t seen it check out this link for the trailer:


    I have it and now want to see it again. :)

  4. ER Jedi says:

    Better revenge might be to losen just one bulb in his strand of lights and let him work over the whole tree trying to find it…

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